I just got back from a short trip to Poland. Gdansk (or Danzig as it's know in German) is one of the Tri-cities on the Baltic coast.

Gdansk is a real gem. The people are friendly, and most spoke English, or understood the universal language of pointing and making hand signals that has served me so well in countries where I don’t speak the lingo. The old town is like a picture-postcard, with beautiful, atmospheric streets laden with market stalls selling amber and carved goods.

Gdansk reminded me of Prague, but minus the throngs of beer swigging, devil-horn-wearing Brits on their hen- and stag- nights. There were a lot of tourists from cruise ships during the day, but in the evening the city is much emptier. There’s a beach at the nearby city of Sopot, which is a rather smarter than Gdansk and makes for a good day trip. It’s supposed to be the party capital of the Tri-cities, but my friends and I couldn’t afford to stay there! I’ll come back next year with a tent, there’s an annual music festival and, if this year’s line-up is anything to go by (Norah Jones and Sophie Ellis Bextor, as well as 70s legends like Gloria Gaynor, The Village People and Hot Chocolate), it looks good: http://sopotfestival.onet.pl/

The Poles claim to make the best vodka in the world, and I’m now backing their bid wholeheartedly. Even the regular, inexpensive brands are incredibly smooth, the beer is great too.

Gdansk also now rules as the city with the funniest menu translations. Here’s a selection of my favourites, they either came from the menu at the restaurant at Malbork Castle or from a Pierogi (Polish dumplings) restaurant in Gdansk.

Whet your appetite with:

Slugs
Village Grease and Pickled Cucumber with Bread
Poultry Collars in Sauce
The Little Cellar Chop
Pork Bite
Pork with a Little Pocket
Roasted (or Boiled) Hand of Pork
Neck of Pork in an Innkeeper’s Style
Throttled Trout

Throttled trout - the poor trout! Does the manner of death really have to be specified on the menu? I don’t even want to think about what’s involved in the “Little Cellar Chop”.

I went from Berlin to Gdansk by train. Outbound I took a night train, which was very comfortable. On the return, I squashed myself into a carriage with a Polish family and fell asleep - it was a nine hour trip to Berlin. I was sleeping so deeply that the ticket inspector had to shake me awake.

After he left, the Polish girl sitting opposite me told me she and her family were getting off at the next station, and that I absolutely must not fall asleep again. I was alarmed. She told me she suspects a mafia works the line, robbing tourists and solo travellers. She said she’d been robbed on that very train from Gdansk to Szczecin (Stettin) whilst travelling on her own. Someone opened the door of the cabin while she was sitting alone and sprayed her with sleeping gas, she suspects. She vaguely remembers being drowsy, then four men coming in. When she woke up properly all her valuables were gone. The girl told me I should never sit alone in a segregated compartment on a train, and told me to find some other travellers to sit with.

But that was the only time I felt unsafe in Poland, on the streets and everywhere else I felt fine. Poland was great, I can’t wait to go back and travel some more.